3Ds: B4 U SAY YES
The recent explosion of social-media networks on the Internet has brought to the
fore deficiency in a very vital element of human relationship: which is close-up-
one-on-one contact.
Today, so many IT savvy people have formed the habit of going online in search of
friendship, companionship, business partnership and sundry relationships.
Because of the length of time they spend online, this has left many users of such
sites especially youths, with faint knowledge about the dynamics of human nature
and or characteristics on a personal one on one level.
With this trend comes in various challenges of groping in the dark: because the
person one may be dealing with at the other end, may well be phony in real life.
Hence, before one should say yes to any partnership proposal, be it for marriage,
friendship, or business with anybody; be it online or offline; it is imperative to
look deeply before plunging into the relationship-pool.
It should be borne in mind that, in our contemporary social interactions, image packaging is upheld in inter-personal relationships rather than “reality portrayal.”
This latest human phenomenon has lured almost all of us into concealing our real selves towards attaining set targets through others: via portrayal of false personalities in social circles.
It is therefore with this in mind that 3D principle was evolved to serve as a proactive guide towards unraveling the true personalities of those who wish to partner with us in any form of relationship in our lives.
It should however, be borne in mind that 3Ds does not contain a list of exhaustive measures to be deployed in discovering human characteristics via psycho analytical techniques.
Rather, it is principally aimed at giving an insightful start up in a journey of discovering the divergent motive-force of that creature made by God, called the human being.
In the main, anytime we wish to allow a new person into our lives, it is absolutely necessary to discover his/her 3Ds before we say yes. These are:
1) DRIVES
Just like in Information Technology, drives forms the main elements that gives life to any appliance be it Printer, Camera, Projector etc; as a functional interface with our Computers.
In humanity the same thing applies: Our actions and or in-actions are all driven by forces or spirits that could easily be classified into positive and or negative:
Positive Drives
a) Positive spiritualism (Devotion to the commands of the Almighty)
b) Conscience
c) Imbibed positive knowledge
d) Positive cultures
e) Spirit of Sacrifice for others
f) Spirit of Productivity
g) Spirit of self denial
h) Spirit of compassion
i) Universality
j) etc
Negative Drives
a) Devil
b) Self
c) People
d) Trends
e) Negative circumstances
f) Poverty of the mind
g) Pride
h) Negative cultures
i) Obsession for material wealth
j) Obsession to life
k) Hedonism (Obsession for fun)
l) Being Religious (outward portrayal of sectorial belief as against true devotion to God)
With these and even so much more other human drives in mind, it behooves on us to find out what type of spirit that is driving those that we come across in our lives: this would serve as proactive measures to forestall future pains and angsts.
2) DEFICIENCY
While it is true that those we come across may portray polished and or modern personalities, it is very necessary to dive into their mind to discover hidden deficiencies lurking therein.
This step is absolutely necessary, because these deficiencies will sooner than latter, blossom into obstacles that could hinder the smooth running of the relationship. These are:
a) Spiritual deficiency
b) Intellectual deficiency
c) Physical/Mental health deficiency
d) Material wealth deficiency
e) Character
f) Personality
g) Social skills
h) Emotional stability
3) DREAMS
a) Selfless and capable to pursue the dreams
b) Selfless but incapable of pursuing the dream
c) Selfish dreams but harmless to others
d) Selfish dreams but harmful to others
e) Symbiotic dreams (to give and take)
f) Personal development dreams
g) Dreamless
It is certainly true that one man’s meat is another man’s poison, hence what is ok for one person may not be so to others: Thus, it is absolutely necessary for us to know what type of partner we desire in the different facets of our lives. Find below my personal Ideal 3Ds. Yours might defer though:
IDEAL 3Ds
1)DRIVES:
Positive Spiritualism:
- This is the best drive to find in a husband or wife.
- These partners are not hypocritical about their relationship with their maker; and hence they have inner stability to weather the storm of life
- They are very reliable in any sort of relationship.
- They are very much likely to have nearly all the other positive drives in their personalities.
2)DEFFICIENCY
Spiritual Deficiency
- This is the worst deficiency one may find in any partner for any type of relationship.
- This person has the likelihood of being deficient in all facets of his/her life
- Avoid anyone found to lack a strong bond with the Almighty except if what is required is an alliance with someone to carry out evil.
3) DREAMS
Symbiotic Dreamer
- This dreamer is an achiever who has a balance of both spiritual and material dreams
- The person knows what it takes to get from others and how to give back to humanity
- This character trait plays out in any form of relationship they may find themselves
POSTSCRIPT
No matter the drives, deficiency, or dreams obtained in our future partners, it is not possible to find a perfect human being.
What is however critical in choosing our partners is to identify what we do not want in; and can’t tolerate in others:
By so doing, we stand a chance to overlook the outward looks of the person: which we shall ultimately get used to over time.
It is also absolutely necessary to have a vision of what type of family one wants to form; and to seek for a person with requisite qualities to fill up key responsibilities therein.
It should also be borne in mind that some deficiencies can form the basis for our resolve to shower selfless love to others; to reach out to make a positive difference; but without the intention of changing the person.
Ali Baba Yakubu
Capacity Builder in Holistic Visioning
1st May 2012
The Beauty of life through the lens of my pal: Julie D
